happiness...

This morning has been good! Day 4 of Max in his big boy bed and he slept through the night without waking up the boys at 5am! Everyone slept until almost 7am. As I lay in bed it sort of felt like the first time a newborn sleeps through the night...I couldn't go back to sleep once I realized that he had DONE IT... every piece of me wanted to go check on him to make sure if he was still alive and breathing...(maybe I am the only one who ever feels this emotion, but I doubt it) My very pregnant body couldn't go back to sleep. My hips tend to fall asleep and they become pretty sore...so...no going back to sleep for me.

Instead I rolled over and reached into my nightstand to pull out my journal. Hmmm...when was my last entry? Really? November of last year! I have slacked once again, but it doesn't bother me because THIS morning I am going to write. It felt good to write about what has been going on in my life and my family this year. It felt good to read my Patriarchal Blessing that I keep tucked in with my journal...Yesterday I was preparing for my gospel doctrine lesson that I will teach on Sunday and we will be studying Psalms....chapters and chapters filled with gratitude and love for the Savior...this morning I feel HAPPY and GRATEFUL!

Now I sit here listening to good music coming off of my Coconut Records channel on Pandora and feeling peaceful and relaxed. Bailey came in a few minutes ago and enjoyed a good wild dance. Do you remember dancing like that when you were little? Every part of your body moving at once. Hair flying, arms flapping, legs bouncing? I do! Just watching her made me feel that childlike happiness again! Good music always makes me feel that way. I am happy that she feels it too!

Happy, grateful, peaceful, reflective...yes...I feel reflective today. Reading past entries in my journal tend to do that to me. Journal #13 of my life contains 8 years of my married self. Babies, love, school, jobs, moving, love, frustration, pain, love, surprises, happiness...that book contains a lot! As I anticipate my life as a mother of 5 children I can't help but feel so awestruck. The Lord has chosen to bless me with this responsibility...for which I am and will always be eternally grateful. My emotions as of late have been hard to navigate through. I have been swimming through a sea of anxiety and stress. Trying to prepare my self and our family for this new arrival. Trying to prepare our home. Trying to enjoy this summer to the fullest. Trying to be a good mom and do the things moms do. Trying to stay on top of laundry, cleaning, callings, mopping, and our ever changing schedule. But right now I feel good...I hope to cling to this feeling for as long as possible today. (which includes 2 1/2 hours of piano lessons to teach, 2 baseball games, 2 baseball team pictures, dinner with highschool friends...)

Life is good! MY life is good! The Lord is mindful of me and my needs. I needed a morning like this. I also watched THIS VIDEO...